Listening is so much more than what you do with your ears. It’s also about your eye contact, the mental (or physical) notes you take, and your body language.
A great thing to note is that when you improve your listening skills, you will enhance relationships not only on a professional level, but also with friends and family :)
Here we've put together a list of eight key ways to improve your ability to be an effective listener. As you read through each step, reflect back on recent conversations you’ve had and think about how well you did (or didn't!) put these habits into practice.
1. Respond only once the other person has completely finished talking
People often interrupt others when they’re speaking.
Most of the time, they do this to answer the question they think they’re being asked. Even if you know the answer to a question midway through someones sentence, don’t start talking until the other person has completely finished speaking.
Not speaking until they're finished will ensure that you:
- Answer the question you’re actually being asked
- Don’t miss any important details or nuances in the question or perspective
- Make the speaker feel heard
- Leave enough time for them to say what they have to say
2. Keep an open mind and don’t preempt questions
It’s essential that you enter conversations with an open mind.
Try not to think too much about the conversation ahead of time, or what you think they’re going to ask about or want to discuss. An important part of effective listening is that you can’t anticipate everything the other person is going to say.
Once the conversation begins, be prepared to let go of your own agenda, thought processes, and judgement, and simply wait to hear what the other person has to say.
3. Keep your eyes on the speaker when they’re talking
Your eye contact and body language has a big impact on how the conversation goes.
You should keep your eyes on the other person while they’re talking, as this will help you avoid distractions, and therefore make the other person feel like you are honed in on your conversation.
If you're communicating virtually (like on Zoom) we've found a good tip is to drag the active speaker window to the top-center of your screen, so that you’re looking towards the camera.
When watching the speaker, you’ll have a better chance of picking up on any non-verbal cues. This will give more insight into what the speaker is feeling, what they really mean, and anything they’re holding back.
4. Be attentive but also relaxed
While we’re talking about body language, it’s important to adopt a posture and demeanor that is both attentive and relaxed.
You can achieve an attentive and relaxed demeanor when you:
- Sit up straight, and relatively still
- Have open body language (for example: no crossed arms)
- Be fully “present” and don't allow yourself to be distracted by your phone or emails
- Give some non-verbal encouragement by nodding and smiling (if appropriate)
Doing these things will help people feel like they can discuss things with you openly and honestly, and will help to dispel any fears that you’re there to judge them.